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Why do you find it so laughable that someone might think your inspiring?
Anonymous

chloraloner:

I am a socially awkward, acne-covered, prematurely balding overweight janitor. My talents are few and far between. I haven’t accomplished anything truly laudable. I don’t even have a college degree, while some of my old classmates already have their Master’s.
My friends are solely internet-based, I typically only leave the homestead for work or to shop. No social gatherings, no eating out, no recreation. Lifeless, directionless, companionless.
No big hardships to work against either. Just a schmuck living his schmucky life.

This isn’t self-hate, just a cold, objective observation. Put aside my friendships/associations with people “of worth”, and you’re left with just some schlubby guy that you wouldn’t make any note of if you passed on the street.

Anyone who would be inspired by THAT should probably get their head examined. Putting gold paint on a toilet plunger won’t make it classy.

Sooooo yeah. Tell me that I inspire you, and I will laugh in your face.

Material gain is not necessary the means to inspire, nor does your apperence, your background. It’s the small things that makes one become inspired by another. Sure, your self-worth is the way you perceive it; quite low. But if you think about it, what qualities DO YOU posess that’d inspire someone? I can think of a few:

Straight-forwardness/honest - being one thing. Not many have the balls to actually say what they have in mind, it’s often sugar-coated or not said at all (or anon’d like a bitch, but hey we’re not discussing what is below average intelligens right now).

Justified/fair - You stand up for someone else, you help create order for a busy youtuber, you obviously have a clear sense of do’s and don’ts.And no this isn’t Common Sense that all can do, if they could Mods wouldn’t be needed in streams to begin with.

Compassionate - Back to standing up for people, it’s not so long ago you did this. And what was your reason? You were compassionate enough because of the fucked up shit you’ve been though and you came out on the other side - not without scars but you gained something else: the ability to imagine yourself in someone elses shoes, or reliving your own. That ability is a GOOD quality! An inpsiring one. Not all can do that, and seldomly any would voice someone elses defense.

This is just ontop of my head. I do not know you very well but already, despite your own claims - you have shown some inspiring qualities to your person!

Fuck profession, fuck degrees, fuck whatever tree you find yourself sitting in, as long as it’s YOUR effin tree and you can do anything from it.

I’m a wannabe 3D animator, artist, writer, I have no great accomplishments in my life. I’ve taken countless beats, not just in bullying but from professors that told me my art was crap and I would never become anything if I didn’t change myself completely.

I have a sister who will become a lawyer next year, she is the pride of our family and I am the one who couldn’t even finish my high school, because I was so fucked up from being picked on and I still can’t find it in me to sit stiff for six hours and do.. NOTHING. Solve problems I can do in half an hour and the rest of the class spends three. I get bored, VERY easily and if I’m not challenged I have a habbit of walking away.

But even so, I like my tree. It’s my tree and I god damn made it! I might not be the type to sit on a chair and listen to someone yap on about what someone else learned 100 years ago and then get a fancy hat on and diploma, I can wiki that shit if I need it. Arrogant? Perhaps, but it’s still my tree. I love my tree! I don’t have a fancy education, but I’ve gotten a victory in the little things: I can talk to someone I’ve never met before, I can look someone into the eyes that I’ve never met, I can be the top of my class; I’m intelligent despite being told I was as stupid as a doornail throughout my school years.

So don’t say you have NOTHING that inspire people. Because you have PLENTY and thats one of the reasons I followed you!

» I’ll sell my soul to anyone who is willing to pay my rent.
I would love to see you draw Signe. :3
Anonymous

It is hard to draw complete perfection, but I will do an attempt at least ;)

» What would you like to see me draw more of?

Throw me an ask with the answer. <3

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cmo-bones:

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(Source: black-quadrant)

Why do you defend people you barely know? It's good of you, but why?
Anonymous

chloraloner:

TW: Bullying and Violence

All through childhood, I was fat and awkward. In gradeschool, that means you’re a big juicy worm surrounded by birds. I was stared at, laughed at, teased, poked, pushed, slapped, punched and stomped on for years.

Didn’t get any better in high school. Especially after the wanna-be Aryan Nation boys found out my dad was Jewish. Steel-toed boots don’t taste very nice.

At any rate, as a child, I would cry, tell, then get hurt even worse for telling. My parents had no sympathy. “Well what did YOU do that made them do it?”

As a teenager, I was slowly getting more used to it, though I had moments where I was a hair’s breadth away from a nervous breakdown. My grades were at an all-time low, I had no comforts, no friends, no trust for anyone.

So one day this guy who hung out with the tough guys caught me alone by a stairwell. He was a wiry guy. Quick but not strong. Thought he was invincible because of his friends, though. Even when they weren’t with him.

He walked up and went “just kill yourself already, f**.” And slapped me. I dunno why THAT was “the moment”, since i’d been through worse than that before, but that was the day I won a fight. Broke his nose, got suspended, i’d have been grounded as well, but I already was for flunking half my classes.

Anyway, that day kinda dispelled my fear of people. They could be hurt as badly as they hurt me. Their “magic” was gone. The problem is that basically, my respect for people was gone, too. I had no support, no advocates, no friends or allies all that time. I had learned that the only person I could depend on was ME.

That may sound inspiring in an ubermenchy way, but it fucking sucks.

I pretty much grew into a person that sees no value in other people. Friends were a thing that happened to others, not me. I had to force myself over years to accept the notion that people might genuinely want to get to know me for ME, rather than a thing I have that they want. I’m still tempted to roll my eyes when people compliment me, because the voice in the back of my mind is going “that’s so fucking insincere. They should cut the bullshit.”

Long story short, I defend others because I know exactly how and why I’m fucked up. I am resentful, hateful, and still violent. It’s a miracle I’m not in jail.
I defend others because if someone in all that fucking time had defended me, then i’d be a very different, probably much better person. I wouldn’t have to struggle with such foreign, alien concepts as socializing, mattering, loving.

Sleep tight, anon.

This right here. Nuff said!

I love clowns <3


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